The reality of things

I discovered recently that some people in my life think I’m faking my pain or exaggerating it or that I’m just being lazy. This hurt because I fight against it daily in every move I make or don’t make. I hate not being able to do the things I once could. Being able to not need help… I have severe degeneration in at least one disc in my back along with herniating and bulging discs which is compressing on my sciatica abs inflaming my SI joints. At any given moment, I have severe burning down either leg along with intense pain with literally every movement I make. My back and SI joints are in poor shape for a 48 year old. So much so that I’m now being referred to a neurosurgeon for consultation. So when I heard the words being said it hurt in an all new way. I know most people haven’t seen the effects this has had

read more The reality of things

Every Path is Different

My path in life has been like a zig zag roller coaster… especially in my faith. I struggled all my life with religion because I never felt as though I was at home or belonged. Early on in my teens, I discovered things like paganism and witchcraft and while I never claimed those labels I did practice it. About eleven years ago, I finally walked away organized religion. I quit hiding behind what everyone else wanted and put my soul at ease. I am a pagan and I practice witchcraft. My kids were raised up in religion but I intertwined my beliefs into their daily lives and they never realized it. Crystals, moon therapy, playing in the rain and loving nature… Talking about spirits and talking to them as well as candles and oils. When it was thundering…I always said the gods were fighting. It was the little things but they were there. Today, I acknowledge the goddesses and god

read more Every Path is Different

Staying healthy in a pandemic

Whew, what a topic… right! Well, let me tell you that staying healthy is more than eating good. Its also abut mental health. So, let me tell you what I am doing and hopefully it will help you. Physical health wile in a pandemic is hard enough but I’m currently living in a hotel. Hubs is on a work trip that should last another two weeks’ish… so we have had the not so fun pleasure of not being home. Our resources have become even more limited with out situation. He is still working – 6 days a week. We go about every other day or so to gather food that is cooked for us and get the things we need. The gym in the hotel is closed but there is not much in there I can get on anyway with my back problems so we both figured some light yoga is best for me. I’ve started that today. That will

read more Staying healthy in a pandemic

Self-Esteem

The struggles in today’s world with self-esteem seem endless. In the article , Society and its Effect of Self Esteem, write Kayla Zarate wrote “Society surrounds us. It’s the people in our classroom, family at home, strangers on the street. It’s our lives as they pass us by. It’s everything in the world. Most importantly, it’s a monster. People struggle to become what society depicts as “beautiful” when true beauty actually lies within. Society’s image of what is beautiful and what isn’t is the cause of many low self-esteems and negative self-images when they could be positive and confident.” Girls and Boys alike are given outrageous examples to strive towards. I, myself, was treated as if I were fat growing up. I am five foot three inches and at that time weighed one hundred and five pounds. I was told I was getting fat and that no one wanted a fat girl. I was called ‘thunder thighs’ because I’m built

read more Self-Esteem

Social Phobias

Social phobias are the most common types of phobias, and they are endless. Examples are talking in groups or even starting conversations. Public speaking. Meeting new people. Talking to authority figures. Eating or drinking in front of others. Regular trips out to the stores or banks. Sitting in a classroom. Going to work. Just to name a few. A Social phobia is an intense anxiety of fear of being judged, negatively evaluated, or rejection in a social or performance situation. Have you experienced any of these? For me I have a few experiences but this post is more about being the mom of someone with extreme social phobias. One of my boys is affected by social phobia and anxiety to the point that he was home schooled because going into a classroom became to hard for him. Going to a store and purchasing something on his own was huge step he took when he was 14. Riding transportation to appointments

read more Social Phobias

Over the next few weeks…

I’ve sat down and wrote out a list of things I want to discuss on here over the next few weeks. Topics like depression, fears, health, anxiety, jealousy, self-esteem, social media and more. The objective is to 1-keep this place active. Life had taken hold and really distracted me and I want to get back to the purpose of this space. 2-educate. We all can learn more daily and I am hoping to help someone, at least one person, with my posts. 3- so the readers can learn more about, even as I am discovering more about myself. I hope to see you around the blog as these topics start rolling out. If there is something in particular you’d like to read about… let me know! I’m open for suggestions anytime.

EOYR: Favoritism

EOYR= End of Year Rant Favoritism… is something that should be shown for things like foods, colors, vehicles, cities…NOT children or family! All my years, I’ve seen people show favoritism between family members and even their own kids. Hell, my own mother showed favoritism for my younger brother creating an environment of insecurity and uncertainty. I left home at 17 and even though that was more than 30 years ago…that level of insecurity of not being enough sits on my shoulder as a demon speaking words of doubt into my ears. This was the first cycle I swore to break with my own kids. When asked who my favorite is… I answer Nyx (my dog) because I will NEVER pick a favorite nor show favoritism. Each child was treated differently according to what they needed but not once was one given more than another. As a mom of 3 with 4 bonus children… I do the same today as I

read more EOYR: Favoritism